Why The GOP Has No Ideas: It's Brainless!

Events have caused the GOP to lose gays, Jews, and Mormons

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese meets Speaker Johnson. King Charles, Speaker Johnson. What’s not to like? Oh, that’s right. Mike Johnson has no ideas from this century.

Well I got the Tom Emmer thing half right. Whoops. It’s a damn shame, to be honest, but it’s all the more reason that Trump has to be retired too.

No, I wasn’t counting on the Israeli world working to knife Emmer, a deep state Republican, as a way to stop Emmer from giving fellow Minnesotan Ilhan Omar back her committees. Omar, whose father was a CIA informant, is very dangerous to the Likud world which fears the mainstreaming of American Muslims with Qatari cash.

The reason the Republican Party seems so braindead is that events have more or less ended the party. In fact some of these events are interrelated.

Israeli spy/lobbyist Jack Abramoff — before I helped put him in jail for the second time — told me that the brains of the Republican Party are the Mormons, the Jews, and the gays.

“If you want to get anything done you need two of the three,” Abramoff once confided in me. “If you get all three, consider it already done.”

How are these groups faring under a Biden presidency?

Let’s take each in turn:

• The Jews:

Today Jack Abramoff’s family has largely decamped for Israel where an interesting expert in Jewish self-rule is ongoing. After the wildness of having an Israeli asset — Jared Kushner! — in the White House President Biden is essentially forcing Jews to be Democrats again by giving Israel a bear hug and reforming the tax code. Biden knows all too well that many of the anti-Semitic attacks against Jews are done by Israelis trying to force Jews to move to Israel so they’ll feel safe — and get ripped off.

You should think of efforts by Anna Paulina Luna and George Santos to claim be “Jewish” as the high watermark here. So, too, can you see the weakness of Max Brooks of the Republican Jewish Coalition, who when he isn’t taking lots of shekels from Chisraeli oligarchs, is smearing American assets like yours truly.

As we move from peak Jewish Republican expect to see Nick Muzzin be taken down. A dear friend of mine from the Levant told me matter-of-factly, “It looks that’s that for the Lobby.”

Let’s hope so. As an American nerd I grew more than a little tired of being targeted by the Netanyahu Israelis for serving my country. We have scores to settle.

• The Mormons, a.k.a. The Mountain Jews:

Look closely and you’ll see that nearly all of the oligarchs in our country have a Mormon or two on payroll. It’s been that way since Howard Hughes’s day and I don’t see it changing anytime soon. The drug-free Mormons are capable—and credulous. They’ll do whatever the patriarch orders.

The most glaring example of this is the decidedly not straitlaced Elon Musk hiring BYU grad Jared Birchall as his aide-de-camp.

Today Birchall, when he isn’t covering up Musk’s crimes, is running Neuralink which is in trouble with the Feds. (You might have noticed that that didn’t stop Founders Fund from investing, prompting me to go public about Thiel.)

Luckily Mormonism is perhaps that most American of religions so you can always get a Mormon to choose the right, especially if you foreclose all other options. Deseret must always bend the knee.

Naturally converts tend to get it hardest. Mitt Romney is allowed to gracefully retire. Utah Attorney General Sean Reyes, Chinese asset and Mormon convert, will have a more severe punishment, especially after he was linked to Tim Ballard and that weird Chinese-Mormon money laundering thing.

That whole thing seems also to have ensnared

• The Gays

Forcing Peter Thiel to be loyal to the United States has also meant that he won’t become the next Sheldon Adelson as his Israeli friends had hoped he might be, flush as he is with his Roth IRA. Where there’s lots of unaccountable money you’ll find foreign intelligence trying to use that money to find their ops.

There are two great outings in Thiel’s life — when Gawker outed him as gay and when I outed him as a federal informant. The first outing was done viciously while the second was done to reduce Thiel’s national security risk, especially as Palantir is planning to get access to the National Health Service data.

To be honest with you, I suspect it was a lot more fun to be gay when it was forbidden. But America takes all passions and makes them humdrum and bourgeois. We’re all so liberated that we’re boring and middle class. That raging queen from the ‘80s? He’s a dentist in the burbs with his cats and his husband. He might even be a Republican though probably doesn’t support Trump.

We don’t often talk about how surveillance actually frees us to be who we actually are. It’s difficult to be a womanizer or a homosexual when there’s Pegasus out and about. Why do we even have an intelligence community if it isn’t spying on people’s texts?

The closet is a national security risk as we’re learning all too well with Congressman Jason Smith of Missouri who is chairman of the Waynes and Means committee. Do you think that foreign intelligence has an interest in what sorts of tax bills get passed in the most powerful economy on the planet? Of course they do.

There used to be a sort of gentleman’s agreement about the homosexuals in the Republican Party but then the Israelis started to blackmail our gay politicians with all the bits they learned from reading their texts or from wiring up their homes or even running gay bars.

Congressman Jason Smith’s boyfriend Congressman Aaron Schock and Congressman Denny Hastert. Schock was targeted by Israeli intelligence and Hastert was blackmailed for being a pedophile.

For what it’s worth I suspect this is how they got Congressman Van Taylor with his affair after he voted for a January 6th commission and they published his texts to the “ISIS bride” after he faced a run off.

There have long been powerful gay networks in Hollywood, politics, finance, and venture capital. These groups are easily and readily penetrated (so to speak) by foreign intelligence. They are a national security threat and we need to be honest about that. Far better to get everything out and let the public make an informed decision.

Not Quite Right: Tim Miller's Mea Culpa Doesn't Deliver

Honorable mentions:

In recent years there are two other groups that have joined the Republican coalition — the cartels and the Chinese — but they are perhaps too toxic to go direct so they need proxies.

The cartels had a seat at the Trump presidency through compromised realtors turned politicians like Mark Meadows who’d ferry messages. It was probably only a matter of time before Meadows turned informant.

The Chinese got in through private equity and venture capital, both of which are now imploding. This is, incidentally, why there’ll never be a President Glenn Youngkin. You’ll be forgiven if you didn’t notice him. No one does.

Out of step. Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council and Mike Johnson

Now about Mike Johnson.

It’s too soon to tell what kind of leader Mike Johnson may well turn out to be.

My sense is that he won’t be Speaker for long. He lacks the inclination or network to raise money. How will he put together the war chest to keep the House? There are eighteen Republican members of Congress who sit in Biden districts and that’s before redistricting goes into effect.

The truth is that Mike Johnson won’t be able to hold the House.

The reason?

Johnson has no real ideas from this century. There’s only two fates for Mike Johnson — go deep state and lose — or run as an ideologue and lose.